How to Stop Your Destructive Conversations

All of us can get irritated and reactive with our partner when upset. When this happens, it can cause a chain reaction of volatility. If our relationship is insecure, these reactions turn into negative patterns of interactional behaviour. Some people typically criticize or blame, and others stone wall, avoid or shut down. We all need to defend or protect ourselves at times of distress, especially in an intimate relationship. However, when we feel secure in the relationship, the pattern is short-lived and overcome easily. When we are in a less secure relationship, the negative communication pattern can become habitual, toxic and undermining of the entire relationship. The destructive pattern can become so ingrained and overwhelming that we can feel hopeless about changing it.  When we don’t feel safe with our partner, we have to protect ourselves either by avoiding engagement by shutting down, or by becoming critical and fighting to be heard and understood. Read more here…

Do You Know What Your Relationship Raw Spots Are?

“For all of us, the person we love most in the world, the one who can send us soaring joyfully into space, is also the person who can send us crashing back to earth. All it takes is a slight turning of the head or flip, careless remark. There is no closeness without this sensitivity. If our connection with our mate is safe and strong, we can deal with these moments of sensitivity. Indeed, we can use them to bring our partners closer. But when we don’t feel safe and connected, these moments are like a spark in a tinder forest. They set fire to the whole relationship.”  Sue Johnson Therapist and Author of Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love. Read more here…

Do You Know How to De-escalate Couple Conflict?

Almost all couples quarrel from time to time. Those few who don’t, may be afraid of conflict. Quarrelling is not bad for your relationship. In fact, conflict is a normal part of all relationships. It helps us understand different viewpoints and negotiate a compromise. Knowing how to resolve differences respectfully, without hurting your partner’s feelings, is a critical skill for a satisfying long lasting relationship. The first step in this learning process is how to de-escalate disrespectful conflict. Read more here…

Finding the Courage to Ask for the Love You Need

In every romantic Hollywood movie, there is that one critical scene in which we, the audience, can tell that the couple is falling in love.  At these well-crafted moments, the characters make some romantic gesture, a smile, a look or a dreamy gaze into each other’s eyes. We know instantly what has just happened. We can identify with the experience so well that no words are needed. Read more here…

Do you Really Love Your Partner

We are so engrossed in the need to assure our partner's feelings that we do not pay much attention to what we put in our hearts according to new insights toronto.

On the web you will find more articles on how to tell if he loves you. But what do you really feel about your partner?

When we're captured by someone, our senses are constantly alert to his characters. Is he in love? Is he sincere? Does he see in me his future wife and mother of his children?

How to Heal a Relationship Wound

Paul and Joan were doing quite well in couple therapy. They knew how to de-escalate conflict and have more engaged conversations. They were starting to feel more emotionally close again. However, I was not entirely sure that they had really discussed some of the deeper concerns that would lead to making permanent change in their relationship. So, I asked whether there was any issue or event of importance from the past that we had not yet discussed. Paul was quick to say ‘No, I don’t think so.’ But there was an uncomfortable silence from Joan. Read more here…

How to select the right couples counsellor?

It is not apt to just end the relationship without consulting the couples counsellor. They are professionals who will help you out in understanding the situation and taking the proper step without putting an end to the relation. It is an important decision of your life which should not be taken hastily. Of course, it is your own call whether to take divorce or not but Toronto couples counseling will help you in knowing the actual problem and solving it. There is no guarantee that the issues in your marital life would be solved completely by the professional. You definitely get some guidance in improving your marriage life with the professional’s marital therapy.